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january . 10 . 2024

hiii fluffies 🎀
here i am, continuing my adventures in the path for a happier, healthier life 🌷
i am striving to create this beautiful and comfortable environment, not just a home i want to return to, but a peaceful mind & capable body that i want to nurture and care for .. 
currently, i am focusing on living in the present, the wonderful moment i have right now, that no one can take away. this is a safe place in time where i can do so many things, or simply be still, and appreciate things as they are.

this past year has been very important to me, because i have discovered many things about myself, my priorities, and how i want to live my life. the life of my dreams. 🏠
as me and bubu have made so many happy memories living closer to nature and spending less time online, as we are getting married after our lovely 10 years together, as we are now buying our own land and planning our beautiful "shabby chic" cottage in the woods, and as i am getting older .. naturally, i have changed my priorities quite a bit.

there are so many things i am excited about, i have been working hard to achieve my goals ( both in lifestyle and career wise ) but it's different now. i want to come & go softly as the fluffiest clouds, gently showering the world, helping the flowers bloom, and then go away quietly 🌧
i'm not sure of where i am going, but it sure is somewhere beautiful, and that's what matters.

let me tell you some things i have been thinking about :

we all know that the digital world is just a small percentage of what life has to offer, but really, it really is !
don't get me wrong, i find a lot of heartwarming, inspiring and fun things online, sure - it is a big part of my career, of what made me who i am today, and i will always love making cute digital things even when it's not work related - but limiting myself has been a wonderful decision.

when i was a child, i used to spend just about 2 hours a day online, during the mornings usually, and it was a magical time i will never forget 
i would read blogs, play games .. it was healthy and so much fun !
i thought i would be happier if i could have more internet, but oh i was wrong .. i sure am the happiest now, with this minimal time once again 💻
( obviously i'm not counting the time i take to watch / read / listen to things, after all these are activities i can do with no internet connection, but of course i try doing everything in balance )

i am also not being very social online either, and it's been really nice .. my "social battery" is small, so i respect my limits and choose to prioritize it for real life interactions and letter exchanging, which i find more meaningful & rewarding ✏️
socializing easily becomes tiring and overstimulating - i must stay careful not to feel stressed and end up completely isolating myself.

something else i have noticed is that most things in my routine can be good "mindfulness" activities, but only if i do them with intention !! and stop multitasking !!!
i noticed that i often would schedule activities, as if i should do them, rather than i could do ..
forcing myself, with deadlines even - what is the point ? how am i supposed to enjoy doing anything, if i feel obligated to do it ?

so i'm slowly ( re )learning to enjoy my time as i please, or simply doing nothing - like when i was little, i would lay on the carpet looking outside from the living room balcony door, for 20 minutes, 1 hour .. i don't know, it didn't matter, it was my free time after all. why should it matter ? 🐇
if i wanted to go to the backyard, or write in my diary, or play a game, then i would, or not.

we tend to take everything way too seriously, even the things that are supposed to be relaxing, and it is unnecessarily stressful. not everything counts as procrastinating !!
in fact, even when it comes to work, i've long realized that i must be more spontaneous if i want to keep long-term projects, because my content depends 90% on my creativity & heartfulness - things that run away quickly the more i try to grab them, shape them, and put them on a calendar.

i found myself in a bad place, trying to "be productive" and "make the most of my time" by doing many things at once, all that while listening to music, or an audiobook, or anything else - trying so hard to enjoy things to the fullest, thus, enjoying nothing at all. 🩹
when listening to music or audiobooks, i now take time to sit / lay down somewhere nice, close my eyes, and listen to it properly. when reading a book, i take my own time to do so, taking notes, going back & forward .. i watch things paying attention, looking at them.
i no longer reduce nice activities as secondary, or "white noise". i am blessed enough to be able to enjoy these things, and i will do so with intention !

quietude is wonderful as well, so i'm doing housework, handcrafts, even digital projects, while embracing silence. just being there, paying attention to every little thing, is lovely 
when taking walks, i have been my happiest when not attached to any sort of electronic device : no headphones, no screens, no cameras - i am just there. there is nothing else to do, but to live the moment.

naturally, during this process, i have also lost the will of sharing everything online, just for the sake of it, you know ?
i never really was the kind of person who overshared, but i certainly am becoming more and more low profile by the day, and i am loving it.
it's just so much easier to live my life spontaneously without thinking about showing things to others .. !

the reason i upload my digital content publicly in my websites is because my projects are meant to inspire & comfort people on the internet. people online have made me smile me so much during my whole life, so i wish to give back to the digital world a little bit !
when my real life can offer some material for content, such as imagery for graphics and collages, i am more than happy sharing it then - but only then. only with intention.
there is no longer room in my life for doing things halfheartedly. 💘

i see many people facing issues similar to mine, having difficulties in enjoying things due to trying hard to achieve their desired life, way too hard, and feeling rather lost or unmotivated .. i hope i can help someone out there with this sincere ramble 

and this is how i will finish my post this time around !

it's more like writing a diary entry now .. and i am very happy with it.
since i will be writing in this blog sporadically, for sharing thoughts and telling you important things, i don't see the point in showing project updates here, as they have already accumulated a lot during the previous months ///
well, you can always check them in a more timely fashion at the index and at the poofties updates page !
i think that's for the best, so my blog entries can be a little lighter, easier to write & read.

i'm not sure when i will come back, but i sure will - at a gentle pace. that's how i intend to achieve my goals and maintain my projects, as well as to live my life as a whole.
thank you for being here with me during this journey 
let's meet some time again, so we can have tea. or coffee, if you prefer !

xoxo 🦋

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